Ain't Misbehavin'

Savin' all my love for you...



Started a large scale painting today. My first. I thought it would be of siamese twins but it turned into something completely different. Pictures soon...
I have been being pretty productive, slightly proactive.
I have been having a really good time hanging out with T and Ru. I enjoy being home on my days off a lot. Sometimes I feel like I should be getting out and enjoying the day outside, but I much rather like just sitting at home. I do a little cleaning, painting, drawing. I like to take pictures of the inside of our house and relax and watch some shows. I feel like I may be becoming a little more introverted, I hate being in large crowds of people more than normal, I am still struggling to make friends but enjoy being on my own more and more and am becoming more comfortable in doing so.
I have never really been good on my own. I feel like most of my life I have needed attention and companionship at all times... but now I am just comfortable going to coffee shops on my own, and hanging out with myself. And of course with T when he is home or around.

I guess it's just come down to, no one could possibly compare to my friends that I already have. And I look more forward to seeing them once in awhile than I look forward to the chance of meeting anyone new.
One of the most upsetting things to happen to me in awhile was that while T and I were at a Halloween party, I was pretty drunk and I got really sad. Crying sad. And it was because every time someone came into the room to watch the band, they would immediately fin someone they knew, throw their arms around them, chat, hug, laugh, dance together... There were so many people around me and they all knew each other and I had only briefly met the one girl who greeted us at the door. I just remembered being those people, the ones who could walk into a room and see so many familiar faces and feel so good. Like how it felt to walk into a party in Wooster...