Day 27 — This month, in great detail

Right now, I sit in my mans chair, drinking a glass of wine and waiting for said man to return with some frozen yogurt.

This month... Well let's see. I have been in Boston a total 7 weeks and 4 days. Tomorrow it will be one month exactly that I have started my job, which, I couldn't be happier about. I remember how on my first or second day I thought to myself, After one month, you will be okay. You will know so much more than you do at this moment, you will feel more comfortable, you will be okay if you can make it just one month. After that, you're golden.

Now it's been a month and I have learned a TON! Also, I have keys and am on the website so it doesn't look like I will be fired or let go either! Not that I thought I really would.
I think back to my years in school and how everyone was always asking, "Where do you see yourself in five years." Never did I see myself, living with my soul mate, having a job that I LOVE (that isn't even in art?), being in a place that makes me this happy, this comfortable... I guess I always wanted this, I just never saw it in my future, not until recently.

I was happy on my own in Columbus, but I wasn't doing anything. I had a shitty day job and I didn't try to do anything better. I did what I had to do to survive and that was all I was doing, Surviving. I had this suspicion that that was what Boston would be like too, but it's not. I have a home, not just a house. I have a little family of my own that I would do anything for. I have a job that I love and love waking up and going to, not a shit job where I feel like shit every second I am there in a stupid uniform that is gross and covered in cheese. I am continuing to learn when I am at work which encourages me to do more with my life. I am dancing again! I am finding inspiration again. I want to actually "do" instead of just lay around and think about doing. Which, I still do my fair share of, Lying around that is. But I read. I think. I want to write more. In a strange haze last night I realized that I really want to write a book. All I really have to do is, DO it. Ty was telling me this. That I just need to do it. Go for it. Thats it. So I will.

So much that I never thought possible for me, is happening. I like me. I feel like the old me. But a better old me. One that isn't giving up on things because she is hung up on some guy who drags her down and rips all the life out of her. I'm not giving up on anything based on the belief that some girl hates me and is judging me. I don't feel scared. I do not feel defeated.
I am starting to chase old dreams. I am being healthier and happier in all aspects of my life. I feel so fucking GREAT!



I love everything right now. If you read this far, thanks. I love you.
"Love what you do and do what you love." My dad wrote this in my senior yearbook back in 2005.
I never really understood it, how to achieve that, how to live that... until just now.
Goodnight.
F.