Last night I had a dream where I told my grandfather off. My parents were both sitting there and I don't know if something was said that set me off, but I told him how I felt he favored other grandchildren more than me, my sister and brother. That I felt he kept my grandmother from us. That he was a fucking asshole for doing so... And so on.
It was strange. I was really mean and I think he was dying but I really felt strongly in having to say all of it to him. My parents acted flabbergasted. I don't know why because I know they share my feelings.
I have been having these kinds of hostile dreams a lot lately. It's harsh, and leaves me with a queasy feeling as I wake up. I am not a very hostile person, actually, if I have a problem with you, you will most likely never know. I hate confrontation and I will immediately put a wall up and shut up if anyone were to try to start something with me. I admit though. I want to be a stronger person in my thoughts and feelings. I think I have a lot of aggression and I don't want to be afraid of it anymore, I just want to do something healthy with it.
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